he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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