Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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