Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
