Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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