She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
