I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
