you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
there is puke in my bra ... again
i out mim tonsoeep
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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