I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
