My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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