she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I love you. Go after that dick
I smell like Dick and happiness
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
