so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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