im drinking this country out of the recession.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
