I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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