I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
