i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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