My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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