at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sponge bath it is.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
