once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
then he tried to convert me to islam
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
