if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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