We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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