I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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