hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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