I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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