well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
