Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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