Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
