I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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