he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
