There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Everyone says I win the strip club
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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