all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
