whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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