It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
