let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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