you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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