24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize