It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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