He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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