Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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