Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
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Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.