summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid