Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls