I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
