i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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