his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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