saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
