I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize