It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
