I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
