Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
