new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize