Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
