god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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