I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
