Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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