no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
