It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
