Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
