The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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