Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
