Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
