He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
