He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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