I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize