With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
